Everywhere I look at is just simply picture-perfect -the people, the food, and the place. UPLB can be a paradise, but it can mostly be the opposite. I am just a freshman yet these past few days that have passed have been a huge life-changer for me. Never have I imagined that I will experience a great mental torture as I enter this world of bittersweet reality. It made me realize that I have passed a lot of chances to enjoy the remaining days of my once a happy-go-lucky life. To tell you the truth, being right here made me appreciate high school life more.
I feel afraid because I’m just a freshman. Considering the upperclassmen, what I feel today is nothing to them. I just want to go home. I don’t want my freedom. I don’t want my responsibility. And what struck me here is that even if I don’t want to, I have to. I have to do this for four years. I can’t be tired. They say, if you love what you are doing, you won’t feel as tired as others who don’t. So I ask myself, do I love what I am doing? Perhaps, I do, but is it enough?
Now a deep hole in my soul is being dug upon. I feel empty. Because I still haven’t found what my dream is. Can you share your dream with me? I’m going crazy here.